Right out of the gate, if I have to call you every time to converse or just to say “hey, cat, dog” there is something wrong. I often state that loyalty is a two-way street and question if people are driving down a one-way. To my surprise I have experienced a selfish, one-sided friendship that has become more of an association. It disappoints me to say the least. There are no excuses for not “making the time” to talk with someone that you acclaim is your best friend whether they are of the same or opposite sex. The elephant in the room is YOU not the friend that you have recklessly tossed to the backburner of your life. Have you ever had “friends” that are conveniently there and supportive when life is good, but seem to become sparse when life knocks you down. Friendships should be reciprocal, most specifically those that have been in existence for years. When you come to a peaceful place of accepting the imperfections of a friend, there should be no unrealistic expectations of your friendship.
I find it absolutely amazing how often people play the victim in a friendship. Thirty-two years has taught me a tough and painful lesson about letting a "friend" screw you over and over and over again. I am an imperfect individual, however, none of the men and women in MY life that I consider friends/family can ever fix their mouths to say that I:
~Don't support them
~Are jealous of their relationships (ie. marriages, committed, newly involved)
~Distance myself without communication
~Don't share various important aspects of my life
There comes a time when friendship that is aged like a fine wine MUST be reevaluated and uncorked to assess the emotional stakes brought to the table. Anything that links me to you in friendship, for example, liking my status or checking in on Facebook during outings that you avoid to do, does not reflect poorly on me. It only pronounces how much of an introverted and veiled lifestyle that you live and how you treat what others may call a blessed friendship as one of damnation.
So consider this a rebuttal via one of my social media outlets: blogging, to your third person Facebook and Twitter status. I have given relentlessly and in such a self-less way. As I am a typical type A personality, I weighed my pros and cons to find that some have exhibited on countless occasions the complete opposite of loving a friend. When you begin to think, therefore, that something is wrong or weird or different in a friendship, it is, it’s . . . YOU!
Let me end this post by thanking the outstanding women AND men that have been constants in their friendships to me and me to theirs. From my core, I love you ALL!
Have you ever experienced a one-sided friendship? Did they spin the bottle to play victim?
San, The Red Head