All the Single Mommies

Relationships are definitely not easy, but when a child is involved it becomes even more delicate. We have to be careful of every decision we make.  Making sure that we give our children the right amount of attention and still being able to make time for ourselves to have fun.  As a single mother, I find it especially challenging not to feel guilty when I go out with my friends and leave my child with the sitter. Now let me be the first to say, that I’m a Damn good mother and my son has everything he needs, but I still can’t help but feel some kinda way, when I want to hang out and just be me. I know I’m not the only single parent that feels this way. I know I’m probably over thinking this, but hell, this is what I go through and you probably do too.  

Someone, who shall remain anonymous, once told me that I shouldn’t go out and expect to find someone, especially since I’m already a mother. My response was, when and where in the hell am I supposed to meet someone to potentially spend my life with, if I don’t go out and mingle. Just because I’m a single mother doesn’t mean my life is over. I’m still worthy of true love. However, the problem is finding someone worthy of investing my time. Now don’t get me wrong, when I say worthy…I mean someone who is honest in their intentions. What most men don’t understand is that the stakes are higher for us as single mothers.  

No, I’m not looking for a father or provider for my child because he has one already, however, I have to be careful because I can’t just have any Tom, Dick or Harry or Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky or Mike and Ralph around my child...Bwahahaha! I want someone that’s willing to be serious about our friendship and possible relationship. A person who likes to go out, but also doesn’t mind having my child around once we get to know each other better and who will treat me and my child with kindness and respect.  If I take the time to introduce you to my son, it means that I think very highly of you as a human being. My point is, it’s not easy being a single parent, whether you are mommy or daddy, therefore don’t feel guilty when you step out to have a little adult time, just be careful of who you allow in your life because it’s not just about you anymore.

Cheers, 

Jenn

Say Yes to the Bottle

Before anyone gets their panties or boxers in a bunch, let me state that I am not encouraging alcoholism.  What I am asking, however, is that you need not be afraid to walk into a special beverage store or down a wine isle and be intimidated by the array of selections at your fingertips.  Wine is proof that you are loved and more than welcomed to partake in the hedonist pleasure of drinking it.  Yes, one can become a bit intimidated by all of the flowery language associated with wine, but ultimately in the end you will drink what you like.  Breaking down and decoding wine labels is not a rocket science, but it can be a bit daunting reading some of them.  The wine labels from the United States and other New World Regions (Chile, North and South America, New Zealand, Australia, and South Africa) are simpler to read than many of the European ones.  Here is the best way to break down the front of U.S. and other New World Region wine labels:

 Label owned by Blackstone Winery and retrieved from About.com

Vintage- The year located on the front of the wine bottle that indicates the year the grapes were harvested. i.e. (2008, 2000).

Alcohol level- Described in percentage by volume that indicates the alcoholic strength of the wine. Most labels will read anywhere from 7% to 15%.

Vineyard/Producer/Winery/Estate- Who makes the wine. Sutter Home, Hogue, Francis Ford Collopa, and Rosemount Estate are examples of wineries.  

Region- The place where the wine is grown. Napa Valley, Columbia Valley, and Walla Walla Valley are examples of wine regions here in the U.S.  

Grape Variety/Varietal- The type of grape used in the wine. Cabernet, for example, is a red grape variety and Pinot Grigio is a white grape variety.

The back of U.S. and other New World Region wine labels are typically filled with government warnings and may include tasting notes from the winery. I like reading the tasting notes to access if my palette favors some of the flavors mentioned.  My ABC version of reading a wine label will help many of you.  I am as adventurous as possible when it comes to drinking and learning about wine. If, however, there are other “nerds to core” like I, here is a detailed breakdown of a wine label from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax & Trade Bureau.  Head on into the special beverage store or down the wine isle with a little bit of sommelier swag in your step.  Read those labels, purchase what you favor, pour a glass, and have a drink.

Saluté, 

San, The Red Head

Clueless

 {via}

This is not a male bashing post.  It is written on behalf of my experience in dating, being married, divorced, and re-entering the ‘single life’.  I titled this post Clueless because it was the only term or phrase that I could use to provoke directly how I feel.  Some of the men and to be frank, boys stuck in adult male bodies (I know…I know what I said “not a male bashing” post) have the slightest idea about being in a relationship with yours truly and some of them sadly have no idea of “how to date” AT ALL.  Before I go pointing fingers, I can assure you that serious self-reflective moments have taken place on various occasions before presuming the aforementioned.  Men, you think that it is frustrating dating us, but what about the underlined questions in dating you.  

I write this to be helpful and not to belittle, but some of you have or know great women that you could “wife” and choose not to do so because of your arrogance, selfishness, and /or guard in protecting your heart.  Clueless as defined by Google is having no knowledge, understanding, or ability.  Truth be spoken, some of you are still attached to former relationships, some are bitter from heartbreak {not all women are the same, so stop medicating old wounds with new love}, some are still attached to their mother with little understanding of not only, how to be in love with a woman, but how to 'be' with a woman, some choose to be a womanizer…you know establishing emotional/physical connections with several women, but never seeking to be monotonous with any of them, some choose to cover their sexual preference for other men with an aggressive and sexual dialogue about what they want others to think they do with women {just be openly gay, love and live your life}, and some of are afraid to exercise vulnerability which handicaps any potential of having a relationship.  

Fellas, when you are staring your ideal women in the face: don’t sleep on it, don’t over analyze it, don’t screw her and the relationship over, and don’t be an asshole. Seize the damn moment!  Take her into her arms, knock on her door until she answers, love her assertively even when she is difficult, and contribute constructively, physically, spiritually, and emotionally to making her a better woman for herself. Do not be clueless! 

Ladies and gentlemen: What characteristics about the opposite sex do you think renders them clueless?

Saluté,

San, The Red Head