Just Do Better

Happy New Year and all that great stuff!  Can we please go ahead and discuss this notion of what people call communication or effectively communicating!?  Ugh!  The frustration is almost  . . . almost unbearable. But, there is this great thing called blogging that allows us writers to scribe whatever the hell we so please. So let’s dig right in, shall we . . .

DO NOT communicate with me in third person! This means via your Facebook status or any other form of social media (pick one).  There are these things called cell phones (and house phones) if you still possess one, that you MUST pick up and use to call me to express your train of thought. Then, we can go from there and assess what may or may not be wrong. Don’t make assumptions that my status is about you.  Usually, when you do, that means that you’ve just been run over (hit dog).  If I respect a relationship/friendship enough to call and discuss, then you will too.  It is just one standard that WILL remain a part of my life.

RETURN all phone calls and text within a specific time frame.  Typically this means that you may not want to continually update your social media statuses and then decide to call me back or return my text messages (days or weeks later).  Understandably, our days and life can get the best of us, but in most cases I am being intentionally ignored.  It means only one thing to me: I am not important enough for you to take seconds out of your thumb key typing speed to text or call back (push the green button).

KEEP ALL MOODINESS away from me, specifically as I relish in the contagiousness of my joy.  Recently I’ve had some great things happening in my personal and professional life and I want to shout about these blessings to the world or at least through the phone with those closest to me.  However, if I in anyway, feel as if though your disposition is displeasing and not receptive to listening about my good (no matter if you are going through your bad), I keep it moving. *cue mean mug and deuces*

STOP COMPARING YOUR LIFE TO MY LIFE because they are OBVIOUSLY different.  This means always having to ‘one up’ me in the conversing of damn near everything, from children and education to new blessings and tough fought hardships.  I will always be able to foster creative ways to better myself, therefore, stop trying to infringe upon me your bitter, emotional baggage. Ugh!

Pictured above is the January 2013 affirmation that I wrote across my wine calendar and shall continue to do so for the remainder of this year and those to follow.  Read it and adhere to it, “I determine my own happiness!”  Say it with me now, “I determine my own happiness!”  Hopefully, you all feel a bit better (not bitter) and will first, examine how you can be a better communicator and then, continue checking (constructively, of course) the inconsiderate individuals that refuse to acknowledge their ineffective communication practices. 

You can guarantee to have at least one reflective, motivational, inspirational or how you deem fit to term it, post from me each month as the year progresses with a monthly affirmation written across my wine calendar.

So, just as I started this post, Happy New Year and Salute to effective communication and uncorking new and familiar bottles of wine as well as unpaved  journeys in life.   

Oh and seeing that I am a resilient Falcons fan, Rise the Fudge Up!

Salute, 

San, The Red Head

What are some of your glows and grows of being a great communicator?

Don't Force It

Photo courtesy Shepherding the Home

Not all men and women are meant to be friends.  Many relationships at best are defined as associations, work related, or cordial candor.  Friendship is a luxury and must not be handled like you do your tooth brush…you know switching it out every couple of months or so.  The loyalty and heart of a friend should never be acquired out of convenience either.  I have had several years now to experience diverse personalities and demographics of friends.  Nothing like experience to teach you lessons that will stick with you throughout life.  

Here is my concern.  Sometimes friends of friends think that mingling all of their girlfriends together will produce this grand gesture of harmonious, drama free, lifelong acquaintances. Not exactly *blank stare*! Forcing a friendship onto someone is not only annoying, but sometimes it leaves you shining in a poor light.  Infringing connections and forcing them upon others is not only applicable to friendship, but also to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  Nothing worse than…

-being in denial that your relationship with someone is over

-pushing to make something work with that “special someone” that is not willing to commit fully to you as you are to them

-wrestling emotionally with the “in your face” evidence and facts that a long-termed relationship or marriage involving children is now…ovah

-and using your bedroom skills to keep the man or woman there with what little physical connection is left….

Hey *holding hands the air* don’t shoot the messenger.  The time and energy we spend in trying to make “that which is not” work with current boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses as well as the comingling of friendships can be exhausting and bare unnecessary emotional weight.  I am penning this blog post because I have been on the offenders’ end of attempting to force A LOVE with a man that was no longer IN LOVE with me.  And the offended end through being shoved by women who meant well, to have Ya-Ya Sisterhood moments {great movie by the way…reminds me of my relationship with my mother} with other females whose names I only learned five minutes prior to wanting to hold  hands and cry together WTH!? *shrugging shoulders*

No! I am not a frigid witch that walks into social situations with friends; mutual and non-mutual wearing a facial expression that gives off the look that something stinks, nor am I discouraging fighting towards make a relationship and/or marriage work.  I am simply stating don’t force that which has expired or shove platonic connections with your girlfriends.  Let chemistry with a current or potential boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and associations that could develop into a friendship run their course. Just DON’T FORCE IT.

Saluté,

San, The Red Head

The Write Off

 {via}

Ok people, that time of the year has come and gone...Tax Time, and being a newly single mother I have been hit with the big question. “Can I get some of your tax refund?” ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!! Now, I know I’m not the only woman who has been hit with this question. If you’re not familiar with this, being able to claim your child adds on to your tax deductions and depending on your tax situation, this can mean a substantial tax refund. Single women, have you ever noticed that around this time of year we start to see an increase of guys who all of a sudden find you very attractive. Now I know I’m cute, not being arrogant, however, I’m not getting caught up in that trap. All of a sudden you want to be bothered because it’s tax time and then once I help you out of the goodness of my heart, you want to start acting like a jackass and I have to cut you out of my life. Then I’m out of a man and my money. Not happening here, because when I need your help with bills or childcare, you’re nowhere to be found. I thank God I don’t fall for that mess, Momma didn’t raise no fool! However, there are plenty of women that fall for these shenanigans and I’m here to say ladies, make sure you use your money wisely. It’s not going to last forever and if you start giving it to some man who’s not going to be around after it’s gone, then you’re the one that will be assed out in the end.

                                                              

Cheers!

Jenn