Friday, August 12, 2011

Don't Force It

Photo courtesy Shepherding the Home

Not all men and women are meant to be friends.  Many relationships at best are defined as associations, work related, or cordial candor.  Friendship is a luxury and must not be handled like you do your tooth brush…you know switching it out every couple of months or so.  The loyalty and heart of a friend should never be acquired out of convenience either.  I have had several years now to experience diverse personalities and demographics of friends.  Nothing like experience to teach you lessons that will stick with you throughout life.  

Here is my concern.  Sometimes friends of friends think that mingling all of their girlfriends together will produce this grand gesture of harmonious, drama free, lifelong acquaintances. Not exactly *blank stare*! Forcing a friendship onto someone is not only annoying, but sometimes it leaves you shining in a poor light.  Infringing connections and forcing them upon others is not only applicable to friendship, but also to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  Nothing worse than…
-being in denial that your relationship with someone is over
-pushing to make something work with that “special someone” that is not willing to commit fully to you as you are to them
-wrestling emotionally with the “in your face” evidence and facts that a long-termed relationship or marriage involving children is now…ovah
-and using your bedroom skills to keep the man or woman there with what little physical connection is left….

Hey *holding hands the air* don’t shoot the messenger.  The time and energy we spend in trying to make “that which is not” work with current boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses as well as the comingling of friendships can be exhausting and bare unnecessary emotional weight.  I am penning this blog post because I have been on the offenders’ end of attempting to force A LOVE with a man that was no longer IN LOVE with me.  And the offended end through being shoved by women who meant well, to have Ya-Ya Sisterhood moments {great movie by the way…reminds me of my relationship with my mother} with other females whose names I only learned five minutes prior to wanting to hold  hands and cry together WTH!? *shrugging shoulders*

No! I am not a frigid witch that walks into social situations with friends; mutual and non-mutual wearing a facial expression that gives off the look that something stinks, nor am I discouraging fighting towards make a relationship and/or marriage work.  I am simply stating don’t force that which has expired or shove platonic connections with your girlfriends.  Let chemistry with a current or potential boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and associations that could develop into a friendship run their course. Just DON’T FORCE IT.

San, The Red Head

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