Sunday, January 22, 2012

Divorce Is Not The Plague

Image via ThisNext


I am divorced and single, however, some circles of friends or should I place them in the associates file, have made the piss poor false pretense that my social status will somehow negatively reflect on their relationships and happiness.  Let me clearly state that I passionately advocate for the power of love and relationships and in no form will ever try to encourage anyone to dissolve a relationship or marriage because I am single.  It makes my eye twitch when I am asked (on several occasions) to attend "certain" gatherings at the last minute as opposed to when the plans are actually made and when I am not invited to social events because I'm currently not arm in arm with a man.

The process of divorce is atrocious and I wouldn't wish it on the most vile of my enemies.  Individuals have been capricious to think that my character *pause* San, would not bounce back or love more.  These false assumptions make me feel some kind of way . . . they hurt, and beckon reflection. I've had time to think (the worst thing you can do is give me time *smirking*) and when I backtracked; situations, statements, and status updates add up and equal to nothing, but falsehoods and ignorant insolence. I know that my divorce was the best decision for me! My health, demeanor, smile, and spirit has positively reflected such.  What I did not expect, however, was the waiver of certain relationships.

I'm divorced, but I'm not plagued!

As favor continues to shower me with success in business and socially, please remember that my disposition has not changed, only the assumptions made have been proven irrevocable.  I figure if you can't rock with me post divorce, why the hell would I want you in my life as I progress in celebrating the good and living the lessons learned from my divorce. 

To those who have rocked with me throughout this entire process without the impromptu focus group on why MY marriage failed and conference calls to determine should we or shouldn't we invite her (don't forget to clear your lines "friends") . . . THANK YOU! You know who you are and I will never forget  the extent of your kindness. I am a woman of my word, consequence or reward.

To the women and men that have experienced divorce, ROCK ON and live your life with little to no qualms about why you do. You will have better than before and the bitter (wavering friendships, family ties, and associations) will no longer have the power to hurt you.    

Saluté, 
San, The Red Head


2 comments:

  1. There's certainly life after divorce. You've emerged from your divorce as an empowered woman and leader. You went through all of the Devil's Hell and came out with all of the things that make you awesome. For those friends you feel are wavering friends and those who you feel alienate you because you're single, then you need to go ahead and confront them.

    I love good, frank, and bold pieces like this one. Good post!

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  2. Tony, I have addressed ALL individuals that have purposely and "indirectly" made me feel like less than an accomplished woman, being, or divorcee because I divorced my husband, and because I currently do not have a man on my arms. Sad is the FACT that these same individuals use their Facebook/Twitter statuses or other forms of social media to reply to this post. A hit dog shall holler and continues to cower from behind their computer screen. I too love candid pieces and pen them when time allows.

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