Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Short End of the Stick


Okay "ladies first" so of course Mothers Day comes first on the calendar and in our hearts.  As a mother I can't help but feel the love every May and I do appreciate it.  Now my definition of feel the love is not based on the gifts received, although I DO admit I look forward to the creativity my daughter puts into my gifts every year.  I have realized I lose count after so many strangers pass by saying, “Happy Mother’s Day!”.  They never ask if I am a good mother or have I made the sacrifices needed for my sidekick (my beautiful daughter).  Sometimes she may not even be with me and still random strangers pass by with a smile and send "Happy Mother’s Day" wishes.  I started to wonder if I was wearing a sign on my forehead OR are we more apt to say it just in case when it comes to mother's because we assume they are doing what they need to be doing for their children?  Sunday was Father’s Day as I paid attention to my Facebook and Twitter feeds.  Time and time again I read messages like “Happy Fathers Day to the real fathers” and “Happy Father’s Day to the father’s that are in their children's lives”.  Now don't get me wrong, I am VERY aware there are serious issues when it comes to father’s and the roles they should play in the lives of their children versus what is actually happening, but is it fair to specify the good fathers when offering a Father’s day wish?  Do we make this same separation when it comes to recognizing mothers?  

In my mind Mother’s day is every day for me and I celebrate it as such.  When I look at my healthy child, how proud she makes me, and the blessings He shares with us on a daily basis, I can’t help but smile.  Then I have to remind myself that God chose me to raise her and has given me the strength and means to do it despite the daily obstacles.  So when strangers stop and say, “Happy Mother’s Day” they don't know the half.  I am blessed to have a Dad and step-Dad, wonderful Grandfathers, Uncles, cousins, and male friends that deserve a rousing applause and Fathers Day toast, but I also know plenty that don't.  When you are not there for special events, birthdays, and milestones your child accomplishes, I am reminded of how much these men miss out on daily and for those dad’s, the celebration of fatherhood may only come once a year, if at all.  In all actuality, I have decided I don't have space to block my blessings trying to point fingers at the non deserving and truth be told I know some sorry mothers out there as well.  So next time you choose to give someone a wish like "Happy Father’s Day" concentrate on those you were referring to when you began the thought and less on those who don't fit the bill because chances are, they already know they are not on their game.  



  1. I absolutely love this post 'Nae' because I was thinking the same thing. To me, I think as women (usually the owners of the bashing statuses) have yet to realize what you stated above in your blog. I also think it is important to deal with the resentment and unforgiveness that harbors the heart of which those comments arise. I know all too well the issue with some fathers due to my experience, however, God tells me a few things, one "He" is my Father, two, "All things work out for the good of those that love the Lord." So therefore, I am able walk in God's freedom and liberty.

    The pain of Fathers cuts so deep. But we have to move past that, or we will infect our children to carry the burden they didn't choose to carry.

    God speed........

  2. Very good post, Tranae! People should not be putting a damper on Father's Day because there have been men in their lives who have not met their responsibilities, but people shouldn't hide their displeasures with those men either. It just seems that those displeasures could be expressed on another day besides Father's Day.

    I have never seen negative Mother's Day comments, which is quite surprising when I know that there are many poor mothers out there. Again, good post!